Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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