Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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