I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
