You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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