I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
