Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize