Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
