i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
