Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize