Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Are my feet made of real feet?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
