i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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