Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
