I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
