OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
