so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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