Do you still have your period?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
