well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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