Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
