i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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