I'm lost and stupid without you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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