just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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