I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
