Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
