just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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