everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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