Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize