just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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