I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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