my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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