We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
