No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
