Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
