I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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