is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
