Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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