make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dick very happy bro
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
