So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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