Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
