I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
