I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
