They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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