The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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