I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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