shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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