She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
