He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
