so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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