aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
