he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
