Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
