we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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