Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
