I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
