oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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