why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She's the barista slut.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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