nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
