There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize