There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
