I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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