we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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