Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
