if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm bleeding and have questions
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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