Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize