Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
