Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
