I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
